


The Plural of Wells is "A Conspiracy"

by Android_And_Ale



Series: The Hero of Nova Herculania [3]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: A Conspiracy of Wells, Everybody wants Harry and Cisco to grow up and admit they've got feels, F/F, Jesse just wants to help, M/M, Pining, Secret Plans, The Council of Wells is on her side, The Hero of Nova Herculania, Too many Wells., Unexpected Allies, Wally has Cisco's back, Why does Harry have Cisco's Bulbasaur?, council of wells, harrisco, shampoo commercials
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-17
Updated: 2018-02-17
Packaged: 2019-03-20 05:57:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13711308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Android_And_Ale/pseuds/Android_And_Ale
Summary: Jesse smiled warmly at the Council of Wells. “I’m so glad you’re here! And Wells 2.0 is right. It IS an emergency!”Lothario and Hells Wells simultaneously crossed their arms, eyes narrowing in an echo of her father’s intense look of concentration when given a problem to solve.“It’s about my dad,” Jesse began.“Tis I! Wells the Grey!”“No. Not you,” Jesse sighed.Wells 2.0 spat on his kill. Lothario turned away, staring at the ceiling as though it held the answer to life’s most annoying question. Only Hells Wells gave Grey a shy smile as he waved.Wally pulled Jesse’s hand away from the controls. “Let him stay. We can use all the advice we can get.”





	The Plural of Wells is "A Conspiracy"

**Author's Note:**

> If you skipped Chapter 2, amidst all the smut we also learned that Hadrian Wells wants Cisco for more than just his body. Leather Wells is a wanted man almost certainly facing a death penalty if he goes to trial. He wants Cisco to sneak him to a new Earth where he can start a new life, though whoa, for a man in his position he's pretty darn picky.

_A thick orange sun rose behind a marble temple. On the horizon, sunny pale pink and dark ocean blue tendrils fought against the rising light. The camera zoomed in on a single barefoot figure standing on the temple steps._

_Cisco looked over his shoulder and smiled gently. A new day was here. Everything would be alright. He walked into the temple of Asclepius. Behind him, his footprints caused tiny sprouts of healthy wheat to erupt from the cold stone._

_He stopped in a brightly lit ward full of concerned, tunic clad doctors and unusually attractive patients. Whenever he sat on a patient’s bed, their white blanket turned a healthy shade of green, growing softer, almost moss-like the longer he lingered. He cupped their cheeks, spoke soft, reassuring words, and leaned in as he let the patients run a hand through his hair. As their fingers moved, he shook his locks gently so a faint rain of golden glitter fell on their skin. Within seconds, their color recovered, moving from deathly to healthy to almost lusty. Whenever his work was done, he moved to the next bed. The doctors clutched one another in relief, with hints of envy and desire._

_At the end of the room a gaunt seven or eight year old girl stared at him, wide eyed. He smiled gently, murmuring something in a language not quite Latin, and scooped her into his arms so she leaned back against his chest. The weight of her illness fell off her as she nestled into his warm, comforting arms. He pulled a bottle of leave in conditioner from her bedside and gently worked it into her hair as he casually braided it into matching black ponytails. Color slowly crept back into her cheeks as a new dawn fully rose through the picture windows._

A small hand snapped the netbook shut. “Dad.” Jesse kissed the top of his floof. “You have to stop.”

Wally plucked a small green plush toy off Harry’s desk. “Isn’t this Cisco’s Bulbasaur?”

Harry snatched it back. “If he wants it he can come back to STAR Labs and get it.” He tucked the toy in his lap and slid forward until the seat of his chair was completely under his desk.

Wally stepped back behind Jesse. She gave his hip a reassuring pat. “We’re not here to tell you how to live.”

“Good,” Harry snapped.

“But you gotta get out of the lab and go get your man!” Wally leaned past Jesse to give him a good natured punch in the shoulder. Harry stared at Wally’s hand until the younger man awkwardly stepped back, rubbing his fist as though it burned.

“I can’t lose my step-DILF to an extra from Cleopatra who got lost on his way to the BDSM scene.”

“You’re still too young to watch that musical,” said Harry.

Wally raised his eyebrows. “You’ve been holding out on me, girl!”

“I’ll bring it for our next multiversal movie night.” Jesse grinned. “Though it’d be more fun to watch with Cisco.”

“He’s busy,” Harry snapped. Cavorting around on another world. With another Wells.

Jesse and Wally’s bodies blurred into living watercolors for two full seconds. Harry rolled his eyes. When they wanted to talk privately in front of people they zoomed to super speed, holding long conversations in the blink of an eye.

“That’s incredibly annoying,” he said once they solidified.

“Sorry, dad. We’re terrible people who don’t deserve you,” Jesse replied. “We’ve also got to go.” She kissed his cheek, then the pair disappeared in a gust of wind. Jesse reappeared a second later. She snatched the netbook. “You’re done with this. Understand?” She disappeared before he could protest.

Back in the speed lab, she tossed the netbook to Wally. “At the very least dad shouldn’t hog it. I haven’t even seen the commercials where he’s Apollo.”

“My dad said we’re too young to watch smut like that,” Wally replied.

Jesse’s kind smirk looked like a softer iteration of her father’s annoyingly familiar sneer. “Caitlin said Cisco actually plays the lyre and sings!”

“On a horse,” Wally grinned.

“Really! She told me he was in a chariot!” Jesse slid a finger in Wally’s belt loop and pulled him closer. “And that the front of it barely covers his hips.”

Wally leaned down to kiss the top of her nose. “You sure you should be talking about your future step-DILF like that? You might make your dad jealous.”

She rolled her eyes. “Right now everything makes dad jealous. For a certified genius he’s being a total idiot.”

“Are you sure about this?” Wally chewed his lower lip as Jesse dialed the multiversal hologram projector.

“Who knows what my dad needs to hear better than…” She grinned as Lothario Wells hologram flickered to life. “My dad?”

“Now, now, now gorgeous. I snipped my swimmers back in the 70’s.” Lothario gave them both a good natured leer. Wally’s mouth stretched into a parody of a smile as he awkwardly waved back.

A stained, rose embroidered western shirt came into focus as Hells Wells responded to Jesse’s S.O.S. “What’s troublin’ ya, missy?” He gently pat his rumbling pot belly. “If I have’ta mosey right fast know it ain’t because ‘a y’all.”

“You know we have a thing on our world called antacids,” said Wally.

“And immodium,” Jesse added as Hells Wells belly rumbled ominously.

Another pillar of static suddenly came into too-bright technicolor focus. Wells 2.0 knelt on the ground, gutting something that looked like a cross between a six foot long jackalope and an angry elephant. “Right. What’s the emergency this time?”

Jesse smiled warmly at them all. “I’m so glad you’re here! And Wells 2.0 is right. It IS an emergency!”

Lothario and Hells Wells simultaneously crossed their arms, eyes narrowing in an echo of her father’s intense look of concentration when given a problem to solve.

“It’s about my dad,” Jesse began.

“Tis I! Wells the Grey!”

“No. Not you,” Jesse sighed.

Wells 2.0 spat on his kill. Lothario turned away, staring at the ceiling as though it held the answer to life’s most annoying question. Only Hells Wells gave Grey a shy smile as he waved.

Wally pulled Jesse’s hand away from the controls. “Let him stay. We can use all the advice we can get.”

Wally had a soft spot for the wizard since the old man invited him to go Leaf Peeping with his little hobbity friends. Nothing had affected Wally since becoming a speedster. He used to like kicking back with a couple beers after a long day working at the auto shop, or unwinding after a street race by smoking a bowl with the losers, but now? Nothing. Rapid healing was great, but if Barry had told him what he was really signing up for he might’ve waited until he really got his bad boy phase out of his system.

Wally had accepted a few puffs of Wells the Grey’s pipe weed to be polite. Two hours later he was shocked to find himself gleefully stoned off his ass in a magical forest, laying on a soft bed of newly fallen leaves surrounded by half a dozen fuzzy toed hobbits who kept insisting that if they could stack three of themselves on one another’s shoulders they’d be tall enough to claim a kiss from a human as a reward. He was pretty sure Wells the Grey made out with a couple of them, but Wally was too busy admiring the vein-like patterns in the soft red, orange, and yellow leaves above him to tease Grey about it.

“You guys met Cisco,” Jesse began.

Lothario laughed. “Did that sexy little piece of ass finally take your papa on a merry-go-round ride once got a glimpse of what he’d been missing?” He slid his thumb into his waistband, fingers pointing downwards.

“Um, not exactly.” Jesse turned to Wells 2.0. He mimed taking aim at Lothario’s little swimmers and pulling the trigger, then pretended to wince as his hand protectively flew to his own crotch.

“Harry’s super jealous,” said Wally. “Because Cisco spent a bunch of time on Earth VII and hooked up with a dude who calls himself Professor Penance.”

“Seven.” Lothario pursed his lips. His thumb was still stuffed in the waistband of his pants. He meditatively drummed his fingers on what Jesse chose to believe wasn’t his penis. “Leather dude? Floofy hair. Great makeup.”

“Aye!” Wells the Grey pounded his staff. Lothario jumped back in surprise. Wally shot Grey a grateful wink for startling the other man’s hand out of his pants. “Lover of leather, long of form and lean of muscle.” Grey continued. “I thought he was the lover of Reverb.”

“Nah,” said Hells Wells. “Reverb done shacked up with the fancy tophatted gearhead. Harrison Wells Esquire.” He burped heavily. “I call him goggles.”

Lothario twirled a finger in his own shoulder length brown curls. “Reverb gets around.” He winked knowingly at Wally. Wally flinched.

“Okay, this is good,” said Jesse. “We know Cisco isn’t the first iteration of himself that Leather Wells banged. We can tell dad that our Cisco was just the latest tissue to pop up in Hadrian’s never ending box of Ramon shaped kleenex.”

The quartet of Wells shook their heads in unison. “I don’t even know what that means, but I can tell you no Wells will like it,” said Wells 2.0. He took a bite from the freshly slaughtered animal’s heart and spat it in Jesse’s direction. For once, everyone agreed with him.

“You mind if I?” Wally gently stroked his girlfriend’s hair to get her attention. She spread her arms wide, palms up, inviting him to take the lead.

Wally cleared his throat. “Cisco’s my bro. We talked about this.”

Caitlin called Wally at 2 a.m. in a panic. He was in Cambodia at the time, but he ran back home to discover Cisco in a blood stained tunic with a sprained ankle, violet bruises stretching up the left side of his body, and two cracked ribs. Caitlin whispered that Cisco wouldn’t listen to her and begged Wally to please talk some sense into the breacher before he got himself killed off-world.

Wally didn’t know what to do, so got his friend drunk off his ass then bluntly asked Cisco if he only came back home to recover from his injuries. For the next two hours, Wally wished he could also get drunk. His ears burned listening to Cisco gush about Harry. If anyone should be jealous it was Hadrian. Sure, they were banging, but Wally honestly couldn't tell whether Cisco even liked Hadrian. All he knew for sure was that Cisco missed the hell out of Harry - and that Hadrian just rolled with it when Cisco occasionally said the wrong name during sex.

“He told me he didn’t want to scare Harry off, so he waited for Harry to make the first move,” said Wally.

“The problem is, my stupid dad convinced himself Cisco is too good for him,” Jesse added.

“So they were in a standoff,” said Wally.

“For two long, annoying years.” Jesse rolled her eyes.

Wally shuffled uncomfortably. “Until Hadrian Wells broke it.”

“And broke them,” said Jesse.

“Now Harry’s got a bad case of hurt feels and Cisco says Harry treats him like he’s a polluted well,” said Wally.

“They’re totally into each other,” Jesse sighed. “But the only people they won’t admit it to is each other.” She gave the Council of Wells her most innocent, daughterly smile. “We need your help.”

“I could make them a truth potion,” said Wells the Grey.

“No!” The entire room chorused.

“Alright, alright, alright!” Lothario held up his hands. “I got this! Reverb’s eye makeup looks kinda sorta like that sexy scrawl they wear on Earth VII.” Lothario leaned back, rocking on his heels as he smiled at a distant memory. “I got some archive videos I could polish up for educational purposes if those naive boys need to know how tab A fits into slot B.”

Jesse’s hands covered her eyes. “NO!” The room choursed again.

“You want Hadrian outta the picture,” said Wells 2.0. He caught Hells Wells eye. The two of them locked gazes for a moment, then nodded as one. It was somehow creepier than Lothario’s flirting.

“But not dead,” Hells Wells stared into Wells 2.0’s unblinking cybernetic eye. “We don’t want him up onna pedestal fer the rest a’ their lives.”

Wells 2.0 nodded. He stabbed a bowie knife into his prey’s eye. “It’ll take a couple weeks to set up right proper.”

“Worth it,” said Hells Wells.

Wally and Jesse looked at one another, confused. Lothario looked equally lost, though Wells the Grey smiled in approval.

“What do you guys have in mind?” Wally asked softly.

Hells Wells belly rumbled again. He pat it gently and said, “Don’tcha worry, missy. You came t’the right place.”

Wells 2.0’s one good eye focused hard on Jesse. “Not sure that leather git’ll ever forgive us, but yer dad’s ready. One of ‘em will be a better man for it.”

“Do you have any idea what they’re talking about?” Jesse whispered to Wally.

Wally stared hard at Wells the Grey. Grey met his gaze and nodded solemnly. “Nah,” Wally whispered. “But like you said. Nobody knows your dad better. “

Wells 2.0 pulled the knife from his prey’s eye socket and licked it. “Don’t worry, Jess. We got this.”


End file.
